TO GRACE

As I sit here I reminisce over what you must be feeling; the thoughts that pervade your thinking humbles me knowing that no words could ever comprehend what sinks your heart the deepest!  There are no words to calm the world of newness that awaits you.  There is nothing that I can give which would help to ease this loss though I can be here for you and your family sitting while understanding with the faintest sound of comfort.  Losing a loved one is hard enough, losing a lover is even harder.

I won’t pretend that I can understand or know what you are feeling though as I remember the gaze in your eyes I am reminded of a similar one – my very own superhero!  In cartoons they never die and in real life they continue to exist in the fabric of our thoughts.  We exude the very essence of who they are, better yet who they were, through the character instilled within us by these fantastic icons.  These figures of communities, whom everyone loves and marvels has found solace in knowing that their God lives and that their God awaits them.  Still these cannot console nor can they ease the pain of a broken heart;  for this is what love does.  It sinks into the deepest of notions surrounding everything as swift as a river’s current.  It sweeps through consuming everything until one day we have traded our sorrows for joy, our pain for song, our heartache for peace and yet still our mourning for grace.  As He said to Paul, “my Grace is sufficient”, He did not mean it for good times, nor in those sad times.  He meant it always, for all time and yet, even these words cannot calm the burden that you, my dear must carry.

Your burden is not your sorrow, it is your destiny – it is all things which have been instilled within you!  It is the legacy fostered by a young man and women which grew into a framework better still a pattern to be followed.  These are the breadcrumbs which if used properly will make us better.  They are those moments that we see within ourselves when no one else is watching.  This is the time to be strong, to take courage and to love continuously and incessantly.

Whatever you may need consider this an invitation.

Stronger

I find myself to be at odds with myself. I’m conflicted with my own passage it seems that my love has taken me on a journey well beyond what this dream ever believed to pursue. At odds with myself, at odds with my dreams at odds with this path that I firmly must follow. Sitting here half asleep I stare deep into the whispering clouds watching as they stare back at me I contemplate what this must be, what kind of love is this that I would chase so readily.


Life has some amazing turns and yet I find peace within each of them. Sure no one prefers being in the throes of the time but always I find that my passion increases with each. “Don’t allow yourself to be boxed in instead box out the world, box out the thing that derails your dreams”, those clouds whisper back at me.


I contemplate, then I think more, I contemplate once again only to find that I myself am stronger because of it. With each dream my vision increases, with each triumph my dream becomes more real. I am stronger, stronger because of it, stronger through it stronger to do it. In this year, at this time, I solidify that beyond the walls that keep me so bound I will not stand in front of it staring it down as a beaten boxer nor will I climb it only to fall, I will not allow it to box me in or sit waiting for courage to resurface. I vow this time with this life within me that I will tear down these walls that surround me. I will see me renewed and refreshed. I solidify that today I am stronger that no chains can hold me, no weight can crush me, no circumstance can overtake me because I am stronger.

I will tear down these walls because I am renewed – I am stronger!


Photography comes with its lessons as do these dreams that surround us daily…

In Tune

Singing to me, your soprano silences my thoughts and you pervade my naked heart with metaphors of your tinted shell. Surely I am worn as you enclose existence to my song! A smile lends loveliness to an open carcass, your emotion I borrow and I am proud to have lived this fantastic fiction. As a recipient of your lenient arms and resilient love, I am openly and harmonically in tune to your melody.

You fill me, I stir you and then we are one. My heart beats, sweat pours from your breast as we consume this affection; you reach those elevations never sought, and what’s unbelievably, intriguing I have fallen totally immersed in being captivated by you.

My attentions become limp and I know at this instant that I want you more than this Canon which lay in my arms. You capture me, sense’s leaves me, emotionally, I’m unmistakenly your boo! You saturate me as you concentrate me, when you visit with me I get even more hopelessly and diversely in tune to your harmony.

Play for me a verse of that note I so love to hear; your smile, oh how I lust to see. To be alone with you, to hold you, to love the one I’ve grown to know – this describes everything in phrase which completes me; And in my heart this choice I know to be so true, it charms me, just to know how in tune I am with you…

To my love, my wife for the many nights of having Envizion Photography (EP) in bed with us. Just so you know, you flow through my veins!

Live

Somehow I feel that I shouldn’t share these words that are so close to me though as I read it how can I not I ask myself. It’s not a tribute to the lost but a roadmap to a peace. These words being two years old as I read them still they invoke something that cries out to say, “Live”! I believe that we are so much more connected to one another than most of us are willing to entertain. Life is a canvas of many moments which contain many pictures and mine says to me live; not in uncertainty but live in freedom of the knowledge and in it share it because you never know who you will touch by doing so!

These words are from my writings a couple of years ago titled, “Breathe, Her Last Breath before Goodbye”

As I sit here starring into the shell of a woman who has the authority to invoke any emotion within me with each moment my superman exterior begins to breakdown and I realize that I am not so strong especially when my heart is overcome with this kind of grief and silence. I am comfortable with the fact that we must live and that we must die; I’m am very uncomfortable with those terms. In my tough exterior I can even maintain when someone close to me passes.  Death itself is merely a means to an end though the journey to death is the road that wipes the strength from even the strongest of man. Love is the strongest virtue of a person and offers fuel to the emotion of loss – while the depression of thought consumes our being because we hold on to it with such a firm grip as if something in it will change! The only change that will come is when we decide to let go. Our reality is shaped by the things that we hold on to for those are the things that we treasure. How can I be a better man if my continence is in the past? I pull from my past while living my present the result is my future – the destiny of who I will be is directly tied to what I believe. My past becomes more of a road map vice a centerpiece for life.

Thank you for reading Derrick.

Just My Thoughts

Just had a sit down talk with my 14 year-old.  We chatted about perspective and how perspective can so quickly change our mood or our heart towards a matter.

I’ve been absent for a while but have vowed to pick the blog back up.  It always boggles my mind as to what to write about and in that instance I’m speechless and I stop.  Though just tonight I had a sit down talk with my 14 year-old.  We chatted about perspective and how perspective can so quickly change our mood or our heart towards a matter.  As I spoke I could see his eyes begin to redden and then tears started to fall.  I poked a little wondering what could have been so hurtful in my words and he looked at me and said, “Dad you were right!  Everything that you just said was right”.  In this moment I’m replaying what I said and he says, “when I”, he says, “say that someone else is annoying that is building myself up to believe that I’m not” and then I pause and think for a minute.  Did I actually pierce through the teenage garble momentarily and speak some sense of life into this child or did I tear down the fragile pieces that held him together?  As we spoke I realize that he’s got it and that I’m getting it.  It is possible to get through what so often seems a maze of “I knows” and “okays” which seems to be teenage speak these days.

We spoke of how perspective can be used in so many of the cases that bothered him.  Perspective can change the way that we see an annoying thing.  It is the difference maker in what we feel and how we respond.  It teaches us compassion where there is none.  It opens our heart to see or feel things from another’s view.  We have the power to change our minds and to see truth that doesn’t have to come from our own opinions.  It teaches us humility and shows us how to suffer well for others.  This kid blew my mind tonight and at the same time comforted me in the same sentence.

Suddenly we regroup and solidify our premise of friendship and family; in me my heart open wide at this miracle of fatherhood!

Thanks for stopping in…

Here I Am

Sometimes starring away from the camera is a way of opening up a gorgeous shot.  Settling into the picture and setting the mood for a greatenvizion-5351-wmsh shot.  The non-posed, non-poised work that I love is when the point of focus is natural because things just fit so well together.  It leaves the viewer open to ponder just what it could be that has the subject’s mind so out of focus.  This leaves room for discussion and assumption which transports the viewer into the moment of a picture all the more.  How can we know what’s on her mind in that moment?

 

This image was shot while the subject was in transition from pose to pose, it was just before the down time of moving from in-studio to outdoors.  As I stare into it I also wonder just what it was that she was thinking about.  The key thing is the natural feel of the image, it’s not posed or scripted.  It was shot simply after the set was completed but is one of my favorites in the collection.

Part of its mystique is the angelic nature of the mood.  There’s no smiles, no forced connection to the camera or audience.  There’s an organic flow to it with a hint of ‘home’ like feel to it similar to the way most of us feel once we’ve arrived home after a long day.  It’s soothing and the biggest joy of that is when we know no one’s looking so our guard is down and the complexity of going from ‘heals on, to the hair being let down’ is simply in changing clothes.  This is the bigger picture of our the day.  It’s simply the moment when we transition from mood to mood.  It’s completely relaxing!

 

That’s my take on it, what’s yours?

STOP!

Stop! Before reading further take a few seconds to think of three songs. These songs should be recognizable to you in a way that transports you from where you are now to a place in your past.

daw-5644-wmOkay, first song, think of it and what do you see? What were you wearing, what were you doing? Were those clothes ever really in style? Stop! Snap the picture, keep it and print it.

Second song, what is it? How does it make you feel and what are the lyrics?  Does it move you? What was the dance to go along with it? Savor the moment then, STOP, capture it, print it and display it.

Okay, now for the third and final song.  Dig deep – deeper! What’s different about it? How do you relate to it?  Is it popular?  Will it still move you in ten years?  Great, snap that picture, let’s share it, post it, print it and relive it constantly.

Oddly enough with the three that I chose, the clothing styles changed each time, so did the artist and the mood. The one commonality was the energy given by each one.

Each moment is different, they seem the same sometimes but each one feels a little more unforgettable than the next.  Photography is that song can you feel its rhythm. What moves us like that song? Hmm, glad that you asked, it is that picture. Maybe the one with that horrible sweater. It could be the one from 7th grade. Let’s just say it was a transitional year but eventually you found your style. Whether it’s a song or a picture we tend to share it to bring others into our moments. Just remember, a song is generally about 200 words and most of them are just repeated. A picture is about 1000 words but there are some that are quite possibly triple that! Take a minute, snap that image and share it!

let’s capture it together, let’s share it forever!

~ DAW

The Completed Work

PlumBlossom-5781Often times the easiest thing about photography is the act of taking the picture. Sometimes things align well and as the artist / photographer I’m well pleased even before uploading anything to my editing software. I’ve found that in many cases what you see in camera isn’t what you want as a desired end. A tweak here or a tweak there is sort of customary to bring a moment into clear focus. It could be that the background is too bright or the point of focus becomes lost in the surroundings. This is when the artist in me comes out to take a picture from a picture to a completed work.

I find that I will play around with an image, not quite satisfied with a result and so I put it on the short pile until I come back to it again to bring out or down the hues or white balance or simply to remove an undesired object from the work.Iris-8643-web - Copy

Wouldn’t this be helpful in life? A preverbal undo \ redo where we can see how things fit together until we find the expected result hoped for. The funny thing is, I think that we sort of do this; we call them mistakes. Unfortunately the concept of consequences don’t exist in the same way in real life that they do in the digital world.

 YellowBush-5191-webMistakes in either are one of the best ways of learning. When I start out editing an image it’s customary to over exaggerate, purposely make a mistake, in the edit to gather intel on how the change will affect the overall outcome. Once I see something that I don’t completely like I pull the sliders back until the desired affect has been realized. Effectively in editing we alter the perception of the image through this process until finally we go from the picture to the completed work.

Perhaps someday this will apply to life as well where we can see the consequences and not actually commit them until we are ready for the expected outcome to materialize.

When Words Aren’t Enough

AuntMae-0796

I remember this picture as if it were just a week ago.  The pride in carrying a torch for such a time and in handing it over to the next is a solemn statement.  We’ve all heard statements like “to run the race” but it’s different when one has actually run it, completed it and bore the scars proudly.  When the race is over I’m told that is when it matters the most – it’s a marvelous thing.

 

Let me give you some background on this image.  This is of a moment in the life of my aunt, Georgia Mae Walker.  She speaks of the race and in a few words the room seemed to stop, bringing many of us to a tearful silence as we struggle to understand the wisdom that time has given her to speak.  In these moments as I look back, there are no words to recover her thought but as I peek into this moment, her moment, I’m reminded exactly what the mood, the conversation and the talk was about.  Before her words we all had our own imaginings of what future times might bring though as the brilliance of my aunt rang out we were reminded of an end that will overtake us all.

 

Moments are about recapturing the thought, the mood, the times, the feelings or emotions in a timeless prompt.  Sometimes it combines them all and more.  Many images are wrought in spaces as little as 1/3000 of a second, imagine that!  Often times we forget that these gems exist because they are captured so quickly and in such a numerous quantity.  These days we have so many social sites where they become saved forever, stored on media servers and sold to sites seeking such media to sell a product or thing.  Every now and then however, we pull out something that shakes us and in that very moment we are urged with emotion of when the shutter met with its target.  Instantly we are harkened back to that time and hopefully it fills our face with laughter or joy as this one does mine; either way, when words aren’t enough to say it, there’s always a picture maybe with a tear that says it all without even making a sound!

 

Say it with a picture…

let's imagine it together, let's capture it forever